In this exercise, you will be asked to reflect on some questions about your emotions and the way you deal with these emotions. Emotional intelligence is defined as the degree to which we are able to understand our own and other people’s emotions and are able to control and use them to improve yourself. The following questions all refer to one specific aspect of emotional intelligence. First, each aspect is introduced. Next, you will find some questions that can be used to reflect on each part. You may choose one or more questions to reflect upon and then write down responses. Do not worry about grammar or writing style, just write down what comes to mind.
Aspect 1: Appraisal and expression of emotions in oneself
This relates to your ability to understand your emotions and to be able to express them naturally. People who are highly skilled in this area sense and acknowledge their emotions better than most people.
Questions to ponder:
How good am I at identifying how I am feeling?
How well do I know whether I am happy or not?
How well am I able to notice when I am angry, sad, bored etc.?
How good am I at identifying emotional swings in myself?
How well do I know why I have certain feelings?
How good am I at finding the right word(s) to use to express my feelings?
In which ways do I express my emotions (e.g. writing, talking, painting, etc.)?
Aspect 2: Appraisal and recognition of emotion in others
This relates to your ability to perceive and understand the emotions of the people around you. People who rate highly in this skill are very sensitive to the emotions of others. Moreover, they are able to predict others’ emotional responses.
How good am I at identifying how others are or might be feeling?
How well do I know whether others are happy or not?
How good am I at identifying emotional swings in others?
How sensitive am I to the feelings and emotions of others?
How well am I able to notice when others are angry, sad, bored etc.?
How well do I understand the emotions of the people around me?
Aspect 3: Regulation of emotion in oneself
This relates to your ability to regulate our emotions, assisting you in recovering from psychological distress. A person who is highly skilled in this area is able to return quickly to “feeling normal” again after being upset. Such a person has better control over his or her emotions and is less likely to lose his or her temper.
How well am I able to prevent my emotions from taking over?
How well am I able to control my temper so that I can handle difficulties rationally?
How well am I able to control my own emotions?
How well am I able to calm down quickly when I am very angry or upset?
How good am I at responding to an unexpected event when I am ‘‘caught off-guard?”
How well am I able to self-regulate my behaviour even under very difficult circumstances?
In what situations do I respond differently than I would like to respond?
Aspect 4: Use of emotion to facilitate performance
This relates to your ability to make use of your emotions by directing them toward constructive activities and personal performance. A person who is highly capable in this aspect is able to encourage him- or herself to continuously do better. He or she is able to direct his or her emotions in positive and productive directions.
How do emotions influence my performance?
How often do I try to do creative and interesting projects when I am in a highly positive and motivated state?
How often do negative emotions after a setback cause me to stop trying?
How often do positive emotions encourage me to keep doing what I am doing?